Planned Love

0Subconsciously, I still knew that Zaizai was in my arms. I desperately tried to keep my balance, but probably due to the intense work these days, my body was exhausted and I fell down uncontrollably. I felt someone grab Zaizai from my arms and I fell heavily onto the ground …    

    

When I woke again it was dark, and I was lying in my room, the curtains open, the white curtains fluttering in the wind, the yellow bedside lamp in the room giving off a faint glow, my head still aching, my mouth a little bitter.    

    

I was thirsty and tried to call Nanny Liu, but no one answered me. Thus, I got up and walked towards the living room.    

    

There was a strong smell of soup in the living room. With the light on in the kitchen, I dragged my slippers slowly to the kitchen door. I pushed it open and shouted, "Nanny Liu!"    

    

Unexpectedly, the person standing in the kitchen wasn't Nanny Liu, but Sheng Yun.    

    

He was wearing my apron, and was standing in the kitchen with a pot of soup. When I called out to him, he turned his head and saw that it was me. Are you feeling better? "    

    

"Where's Nanny Liu and Zaizai?" I couldn't help but ask.    

    

"Zaizai is asleep, and Nanny Liu is feeling a bit uncomfortable too. I let her rest early." I'm making you medicine. " He helped me into the living room and sat me down on the couch.    

    

The moment he wanted to kneel down and take off my shoes, I stopped him. "No, I'll do it myself."    

    

I quickly kicked off my slippers and lay down on the sofa. "Would you please pour me a glass of water?" I asked. There seems to be a fire in my throat, and it's very dry. "    

    

"Alright." He poured me a glass of warm water and held it up to my mouth. He wanted to feed me, but I insisted on drinking from it.    

    

Sensing the coldness in my manner, he sat back on the other side of the table and asked, "What have you been up to? "Nanny Liu said that you worked overtime and you're out of energy. You had a low fever just now, so I fed you some medicine. Are you feeling better now?"    

    

"My head is still dizzy and my mouth is bitter. I feel like vomiting." I said honestly.    

    

When he heard me say this, he walked over nervously and put his hand on my head, saying, "It's not hot anymore, or should we take more body temperature? When you fainted just now, Nanny Liu and I were frightened. "    

    

"Is Zaizai alright?" I remember I was still holding him when I fainted. " When I heard him say that, I couldn't help but think back to the time before I fainted, so I quickly asked.    

    

"Zaizai is fine, I got him. "Because I caught Zaizai, I wasn't able to support you. You fell to the ground, is your hand still painful?" He took my arm and squeezed it again.    

    

When he looked down, I saw the dark circles around his eyes, and the weariness on his face was unbearable. But I pushed his hand away.    

    

I said flatly, "I'm fine. You can sleep in the guest room at night. My head is still aching, so I'll head back to my room to sleep first. "    

    

"You can go. I'll boil some medicine for you. The doctor said that this medicinal herb is precious, and it will take a long time for the medicinal herb to boil. It might be tomorrow morning soon." You go to sleep first. When the medicine is ready, I'll bring it to you. " Sheng Yun said to me.    

    

"No need, I'll sleep for a while. I'll be fine tomorrow. You should get some rest. " I heard him say that, so I said.    

    

"Shubei, can I do more for you?" He suddenly raised his head and looked at me with a serious gaze. Perhaps it was because this silent night had finally made him want to pour out his heart, his voice suddenly softened. "I miss you. I really miss you."    

    

I was stunned for a moment. I immediately saw his affectionate gaze and was afraid that if I continued to look at it, I would sink deep into his body. Thus, I quickly averted my gaze and lightly said, "I understand. You should go to bed quickly. It's fine if you don't want to eat the medicine, but it's fine if you don't want to.    

    

"You know, that's all?" His voice suddenly became colder. He pulled my head over his head and forced me to look directly into his eyes. He slowly asked, "Shubei, what's wrong with you now?"    

    

"I'm tired, I'm going back to my room to rest." I'm afraid that if this goes on, I'll go back in time. Thus, I pushed his hand away and quickly stood up.    

    

Maybe I hurt him with my coldness, but he stood up too, and I could feel the chill coming off of him.    

    

I turned around and walked towards the bedroom. I heard him give a long sigh behind me, then he said softly, "Xu Shubei, it seems …" It's my fault for being sentimental. "    

    

I stopped and didn't look back. "For me, some things have changed," I said calmly.    

    

"Xu Shubei, can you really do it?" he growled behind me, his voice thick.    

    

"I can do it." "Yes," I replied softly, my heart pounding.    

    

"Alright!" I heard him grind his teeth and spit out a word.    

    

At that moment, I wanted to turn around and throw myself into his arms and tell him, No, I can do it.    

    

But I had to force myself, I had to do it. I knew that once my heart had softened, everything would return to its former self. But I don't want to. I would rather continue on with my hard shell on my back than turn into a little woman in his arms at this critical moment.    

    

What I need now is not to be protected, but to constantly arm and strengthen myself. That way, I wouldn't have to give up halfway.    

    

If he wanted to succeed, it meant that he had to let go of a lot of things. Women are more emotional than men, so I have to force myself to be rational. Don't lose your head because of love before you take down the Xu family.    

    

"Sheng Yun, I'm sorry, please give me some more time …" I said to him silently in my heart, but what remained of him was a cold and resolute back.    

    

I knew he was still behind me, but I had no intention of turning back. Because I was afraid that if I turned around, I would instantly destroy all of my will. Sheng Yun, he's hiding on the soft side of my chest, and I have to hide him well. Then I put on my armor and continue to fight like a man in this deceitful mall.    

    

"Xu Shubei, you can do it, I can do it." After a long moment, he said this again.    

    

At that moment, I knew, he must have made up his mind.    

    

"Alright." I clenched my fists and shivered, but I still said the word.    

    

I thought I heard his heartbreak.    

    

He smashed his fist against the coffee table in a broken mood, and it made a muffled sound that made my heart skip a beat.    

    

"So in your heart, I'm so unimportant. Zaizai you want, you want the cause, only can abandon me cold side to me! Even Tai Ziqian can be by your side, but I, you keep forcing me to stay away! " he cried bitterly.    

    

My heart once again felt a sharp pain, but my heart was even more stubborn.    

    

I felt like we were in a great tug of war, and I was already standing on another hill, and we were no longer walking side by side, so we had to walk parallel to each other, and reaching for each other would only make it difficult for us.    

    

Now was the time to bid farewell and make a final decision. I couldn't hesitate, I couldn't back down, I could only continue forward bravely.    

    

This period of love, it was likely that he would completely fail to live up to it. This is really, really hard for me. But I don't want to leave a way out for myself anymore.    

    

I had chosen his boat to help me cross the river, but he had failed me; now that I was at the helm, I clenched my teeth in the wind and the rain, love would not be my oars, it would be my net, and I would have to tear it apart.    

    

His heart is really in pain, but when it comes to his mouth, it is even more emphatic and decisive: "Yes, because love is not a necessity, but everything else is. "I gave birth to Zaizai, and I am responsible for him. Without a career, it is meaningless for me to live. As for Tai Ziqian, without him, I would not be here today!"    

    

I know it's very, very heavy. He must have been hurt. But I still said it.    

    

"You're still blaming me! "You're still blaming me for not toppling the Xu family for you, right?" "How do you know I'm not helping you? How do you know I won't help you? I don't like to talk before I do, I thought you understood me! I thought you would understand me! But I was wrong, I was completely wrong! "Xu Shubei, it's only now that I realize how worthless I am in your eyes!"    

    

I involuntarily turned my head and saw his red eyes in the light. He subconsciously took two steps back and looked at me, his eyes filled with unfamiliarity.    

    

"If I could turn back and choose again, I would rather not meet you! Xu Shubei, I thought you were Honey, but I didn't expect you to be Arsenic. " The expression on his face was twisted with pain. As he said this, two streams of tears flowed down his cheeks.    

    

Sheng Yun, he cried …    

    

At that moment, my heart was broken.    

    

I felt as if all the principles of my heart had been broken at that moment, and that something called love had been awakened in me again, and the pot of medicine was still bubbling in the kitchen, and the thick smell of it was wafting out of the kitchen, and I wanted to step forward.    

    

However, he took two more steps back.    

    

"Sheng Yun, I …" I stared at him, my eyes watering as he wept.    

    

He looked at me so coldly that the tears were still on his face and he didn't even wipe them off with his hands. He looked at me and said coldly, "Xu Shubei, I overestimated my place in your heart. I underestimated your ruthlessness. So it turns out that I was right about you from the beginning. You ambitious woman, if you only care about benefits, why did you provoke me? "Why bother to make me fall in love with you?"    

    

"I …" I was speechless, tears welled up in my eyes, I wanted to explain, I wanted to say what I wanted to say. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't say a word.    

    

A thousand words came to his mouth, only one sentence left, "I'm sorry, you misjudged me."    

    

I knew that my last stubbornness would destroy the last of his thoughts about me, but I insisted.    

    

"Xu Shubei, I hate you!" He looked me straight in the eye, his eyes burning with hatred. But those eyes full of hatred forced out two clear streams of tears. Those tears seemed to flow into the blood in my heart. I couldn't stop my body from turning cold.